“I’ve had friends that couldn’t be my lovers. I’ve had lovers who couldn’t be my friends. I can’t wait for the day I find the person that is both.”(via fukevery1)
wet dream: being financially secure with a career i enjoy
- Bad, Bad Leroy Brown
i accidentally spilled monster energy drink in my fish bowl and now my goldfish won’t stop saying “bro” and keeps flexing it’s fins
Hate Groups per Million Residents in the US
why is it that boys who can cook are usually p cute… double threat indeed..
My dad and I were in a hotel and he tried the coffee and smiled and said “ahh, it’s like making love in a canoe.” and I said, “it’s that good?” and he stopped smiling and looked me in the eye and said, “no, it’s fucking close to water" before pouring it down the drain really dramatically and walking away.
Oh my GOD.
Extreme dad jokes.
- Welcome to Japan